Everyone must suffer one of 2 pains. Either the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret. Athletes call it “No pain, no gain.” In 1648 Robert Herrick wrote a poem called: “No Paines, No Gaines,” so the idea has been around for quite some time. It’s been described as “No bees no honey, no work, no money,” or “No guts, no glory.” All basically mean the same thing. Without effort, little will be accomplished.
This awareness affects nearly every segment of our lives, from relations with our family, association with friends, and how we perform on our jobs, with our hobbies, and in our athletic endeavors. I wonder how many times Steph Curry shot a basketball before he even got into the NBA. I was once told it was the goal of Larry Bird to shoot 1000 times a day. I don’t know if that’s true or not, and I’ve never talked to Larry Bird, but assuming it is true, it’s no wonder Larry Bird and Seth Curry are among the greatest shooters of all time.
But on a more personal thought, what regrets do you have in your life? My mother passed away last November, and the one regret I have is that I didn’t spend more time with her the last few years of her life. I wish I would have asked more about her childhood, as she lived through the depression and WWII. I wish I would have asked her more about raising 4 children, after a wounded husband returned from the war. After my father died, I wish I would have gone to her house more often and had lunch with her. She was always asking me to come over for lunch. I often did, but not nearly as much as I should have. Now it’s too late, and those opportunities are long gone. Are you spending enough time with those you love?
During the summers when I was in college, I worked for an individual, and stayed with his loving family. He was a mentor to me, and much of my success I contribute to the time I spent with him. I loved him and his family. One of the greatest regrets I have in life is not visiting him more often and gaining knowledge from his many experiences. He and his wife died years ago, and all I have are a lot of memories, but many regrets. Are you often visiting friends and people who have touched your life?
When I look back at the accomplishments in my life, there are times I wish I would have worked harder, studied longer, and been more diligent in what I was doing. What do you wish to accomplish? Are you working hard enough to reach your goals? Is it finishing an education, starting a company, making a sports team, or just being good parents? We all have regrets, but there’s no better time than now to begin eliminating as many as possible. The pain of discipline is heavy, but the pain of regret weighs tons.
One of my favorite quotes is one by Theodore Roosevelt. It’s been quoted so many times, and possibly changed a little from his original speech in 1910, but the meaning remains the same. “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; and if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that he will never be among those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” Are we willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish what we wish to achieve; to spend enough time with others; to dedicate ourselves to excellence; to be the best person we can be, doing the most good to see others also achieve success? The road’s not easy, and there are many pitfalls and difficulties along the way, but the satisfaction of reaching an accomplished goal is most often well worth the efforts. There’s no greater joy than seeing happy, healthy, successful children; having parents enjoying their years in the presence of children and grandchildren; enjoying times with good friends; or seeing a job well done. It’s never too late to begin a good thing.
I think a very important question we must ask ourselves, is not “what do we regret,” because we can’t do much about that now, but the real question should be: “What will we regret?” The answer to that question may well change our lives, make us better people, and cause us to realize, a time will come that the opportunities we wanted so badly have passed us by.
Let us suffer the pain of discipline rather than the pain of regret.
I plan on writing a lot more about the things I mentioned above. Things about raising children, getting along with others, helping children set goals and make decisions, taking care of aging parents, and just getting through life, to name a few.
Thanks for reading. I look forward to writing my next blog. Hope you look forward to reading it.
Dad